


Phone Etiquette

by Emptylester (timelordangel)



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Established Relationship, M/M, One Shot, Phan - Freeform, Phandom - Freeform, Phone Calls, Short little thing, Smut, this is for zina, top!phil
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-28
Updated: 2016-08-28
Packaged: 2018-08-11 12:33:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,783
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7892461
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/timelordangel/pseuds/Emptylester
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Phil makes Dan make an important call while they're... busy doing something else.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Phone Etiquette

Phil and Dan had many things in common, one of which was a hatred of talking on the phone. Something about the whole ordeal of calling an office, expressing what you need without the aid of nonverbal cues, and managing to sound professional and put together all the while… well, it was shit.

Someone had to call and schedule an appointment to get their three-month work visas for the USA tour. 

“You know, we tour in four months. We need to call.” Dan and Phil are sat at the kitchen table, staring at Phil’s iPhone between them. 

“You do it.” Dan puts his finger on his nose, eliciting an eye roll from Phil.

“I called the passport office to renew ours. Your turn.” Phil shakes his head.

“No,” Dan whines, “I called our landlord to report the ceiling leak.” 

“That doesn’t count, I have to deal with him every time he checks out our flat to see if we get to renew.” 

Dan huffs. “Okay, let’s rock paper scissors it.” 

“Fine.” Phil concedes. 

“Rock, paper, scissors, shoe, whatever else I want to do.” They chant in unison as they hit their hands together.

Dan chooses dynamite, Phil chooses the moon. 

“Come on, dynamite could blow up the moon.” Dan rolls his eyes, pushing the phone across the table towards Phil.

“No way. The moon was created by a meteor that hit Earth and the moon popped off. Dynamite would create more moons from the moon, and therefore the moon and its moon children would win.” Phil raised his eyebrows, proud of his unbeatable logic.

“Dynamite would blow you up,” Dan frowns, “Rematch.”

“Fine, but if I win again I get to add something.” The corners of Phil’s mouth twitch upward deviously.

“Deal. Let’s go.” Dan puts his game face on.

“Rock, paper, scissors, shoe, whatever else I want to do!” They chant once again.

They blurt out their answers simultaneously, Dan yelling “great white shark” the same time Phil yells “Poisonous berries!” 

“Fuck.” Dan buries his face in his arms, collapsing onto the table. “Fuck.”

“You’ve been defeated, your shark is dead.” Phil grins, his tongue threatening to escape his mouth. 

“Fuck you.” Dan moans, but there’s no spite to it.

“You can call later, I’m going to think about my addition.” Phil pokes Dan in the shoulder. 

“Great. More time to suffer.” Dan laughs softly before standing and mumbling something about food. 

It isn’t until later that afternoon that Dan and Phil are kissing on the couch, all limbs and teeth as they go at it. 

“Bedroom?” Dan pants, tugging Phil’s shirt over his head. 

“I just changed my sheets, let’s stay here.” Phil says between breaths, rutting up onto Dan.

“Fine, but the lube is in my room.” Dan whimpers a little as Phil palms him through his boxers. 

“Nah, we still have the shitty coconut lube from last week.” Phil reaches down and pulls it out from under the coffee table. 

“Shit, how long has that been there?” Dan laughs, “We’ve had guests recently.”

“Would they really be surprised?” Phil squirts some onto his palm and rubs his hands together, warming it as a courtesy. 

“Ah-AH-parently nobody noticed because they still s-sat on the couch.” Dan stutters as he shoves his boxers down and strokes himself. 

“It smells nice, tastes bad.” Phil chuckles, thrusting into his hand a few times.

“I told you not to eat it!” Dan shakes his head, stealing the lube to prep himself. 

“I was drunk, it smelled of food!” Phil argues, biting his lip. “What time is it?”

Dan cocks his head, two fingers inside him. “What’s it to you? It’s a quarter to four.”

“Just wondering.” Phil shrugs, “You ready?”

“Hell yes.” Dan pulls his fingers out and flinches, turning around on the couch to sit back on Phil, his knees on either side of Phil’s hips. 

Phil holds Dan’s hips as he lowers Dan onto himself, resisting the urge to move his hips right away.

“Ah- ah.” Dan adjusts, biting his lip. “I love you.”

The way it slips out of him sometimes makes Phil happier than when it’s expected, just another reminder of the great person he has in his life. 

“I love you too, but you won’t love me after this.” Phil says softly, thrusting up into Dan a couple times. 

“What?” Dan freezes, his voice filled with fear. 

“No, it’s not that bad.” Phil rubs his back to calm him. 

“W-what?” Dan still sounds scared. He’s completely still.

“I’ve just thought of my addition to the phone call.” Phil hums, fucking Dan slowly. 

“What?” Dan repeats, his voice soft and wrecked with each thrust.

“I want you to call them, right now. Right here on my cock. Like a good boy.” Phil says so softly and seriously that Dan almost doesn’t believe it’s really Phil he’s riding. 

Dan leans his head back and tries to see the look on Phil’s face to see if he’s joking or not, but he’s met with dead serious blue eyes.

“Can I wait a minute?” Dan sounds on the edge of tears and Phil can’t tell if it’s because of the call or because he’s being fucked. 

“No, they close at four. You have ten minutes.” Phil rubs Dan’s back some more and thrusts harder into Dan, knocking him forward a bit. 

Dan hardly seems like he’s paying attention, his entire body shaking slightly. “Okay. I guess I don’t have a choice here.” 

Phil knows that Dan knows there is a line, and if either one crosses it they have a safe word (spindly spiders) and their safety and comfort is priority- so he doesn’t feel bad when Dan reluctantly reaches over, Phil still balls deep, and grabs his phone.

“I don’t want to do this.” Dan whispers, anxiety leaking through his voice. 

“You can do it.” Phil’s blissed out, his hips increasing in speed as Dan gets looser. 

“Stop going, for one second.” Dan laughs, the sound bordering on hysterical. It helps that he can’t see Phil’s face, so he stares at the bookcase. The picture of him and Collin is front and center and he tries to imagine he’s somewhere quiet and warm.

“Okay, okay.” Phil forces himself to stop thrusting and wraps his hand around the base of his dick, jerking off into Dan. 

Dan dials the number and holds his phone to his ear, wincing slightly. It rings three times and Dan internally curses when the woman picks up. Phil’s being good and still right now, but Dan knows the second he starts talking that he’s going to do his worst.

“Thank you for calling the office of International affairs, this is Kathy.” Kathy greets him, sounding bored and exhausted.

“Hi, my name is Daniel Howell and I am calling to organize an appointmenAH- t for a work visa.” Dan pants, forcing his voice to sound steady.

“Okay, have you applied before?” Kathy asks.

“Yes, we’ve both applied.” Dan digs his teeth into his lower lip as Phil moves inside of him, thrusting deep and hard against his prostate. 

“You both?”

“Yes, I was actually wondering if my business partner and I could have a meeting at the same time.” Dan is struggling, his voice a breathless mess. 

“We should be able to work that out. I’ve found your application, Mr. Howell. Who is your business partner?” 

Dan about loses it when he begins saying “Philip Lester” and a hand reaches around to give him a quick squeeze at the first syllable. The name comes out more like a cry, and he immediately turns bright red. 

“O-okay.” Kathy caught the hitch in Dan’s voice and Dan knows it. 

“Sorry, I was running to my car.” Dan lies, hitting Phil’s thigh with his hand to keep Phil from moving again. Phil’s hand is still on Dan’s cock and Dan ruts up into it without meaning to.

“No worries!” Kathy sounds relieved, “I found his as well. Looks like you both are about good to go, we just need you to come in for a final interview and we’ll get them sorted. Will this Thursday at ten am work? We’ll do you both at the same time.” 

Dan barely hears what she says as Phil has pushed him forward and is trusting from behind, leaving Dan holding himself up on the couch with one hand and holding the phone with the other. 

“Y-yeah, of course.” Dan stutters, his eyes closed and his mouth dangling open. It feel so fucking good. 

“Great. See you then.” Kathy says hurriedly before hanging up the phone.

Dan jabs at the end button and tosses his Phone off the couch, falling forward onto his forearms and moaning loudly, “Fuck!”

“You did so well, Dan,” Phil murmurs as he thrust in an out, one hand digging into Dan’s hip and the other jerking Dan off. “I’m so proud of you, Dan.”

Dan feels his hair sticking to his forehead and his knees begin to hurt but he backs into Phil and whimpers and cries out in pleasure. 

“You set up the appointment and spoke so well, I’m sure she had no idea you were riding my cock like a good boy.” Phil is having trouble keeping his own voice steady, the hand on Dan’s cock working double-time. 

“I’m s-so close, Phil. Phil!” Dan’s voice is breathless and his jaw is slack. He begins to cum on Phil’s hand and he cries out, desperately wanting to collapse into the couch. Phil’s still going though, and Dan feels like a rag doll. 

His lifeforce is gone by the time Phil stops violently and cums hard into Dan, his fingers forming bruises on the delicate skin above Dan’s hip bones. 

“Wow.” Phil leans back, pulling Dan backwards to lay on him.

“Wow.” Dan echoes, turning to snuggle into Phil’s chest. 

“I love you.” Phil whispers, kissing Dan’s forehead.

“Are you really proud of me?” Dan looks up, his eyes wide.

“Of course. That took a lot of strength.” 

“I love you too. My ass hurts, though.” Dan hums. 

“Was it worth it?” Phil teases, running his thumb over one of the hip-bruises. 

“Always.” Dan smiles, his eyes closed. 

“Hey, when is the appointment?” Phil frowns, “I didn’t hear her.”

“Fuck.” Dan giggles, “I forgot. Guess I was a little preoccupied.” 

“Dannn.” Phil rolls his eyes and gives Dan’s ass a little tap.

“It’s your turn to call.” Dan mumbles, burrowing deeper into Phil’s side. 

“Yeah,” Phil accepts his fate, looking down on the perfect brown-eyed boy snuggled against him. The very same man who is so independent and thoughtful, yet he would do anything to make Phil happy. “Yeah, it is.”


End file.
